There are two things I’ve learned about working doubles.

One: the money is nice.

Two: the regret afterward is REAL. 😂

You finish a double feeling like you’ve worked approximately 47 hours, your feet are filing a formal complaint, and your brain has officially checked out.

Nurses really do have a way of burning themselves out a little at a time. We pick up extra shifts, work doubles, help cover staffing shortages, and convince ourselves that we’re fine.

Until we’re sitting at home wondering why we agreed to do it in the first place.

And this weekend? Well, it came with an unexpected plot twist.

Surprise! You’re training someone today. 😳

I had someone shadowing me this weekend.

Without much warning.

And let me tell you, it was not exactly the weekend I would have chosen to introduce someone to the wonderful world of dementia care.

It was BUSY.

Families visiting, residents needing assistance, call lights, behaviors, medications, and the usual long-term-care circus.

I was trying to manage my assignment, keep everything moving, and somehow explain what I was doing along the way.

Not exactly ideal training conditions.

And now, looking back, I feel like I missed opportunities to teach her things. There were things I didn’t explain, things I didn’t demonstrate, and things I probably should have slowed down for.

But slowing down wasn’t exactly an option when I was trying to keep up myself.

A whole new world.

Here’s the thing about the nurse who was shadowing me.

She’s navigating so much more than just a new job.

New nurse. New country. New life. New culture. New people. New language.

Imagine trying to learn an entirely new healthcare environment while also figuring out the routines, expectations, documentation, and personalities of a dementia unit.

That’s a LOT.

She was very soft-spoken, very sincere, and genuinely appreciative of the opportunity.

And working in dementia care?

Well, let’s just say we’re going to need to work on that big girl voice. 😂

These residents don’t always hear you the first time. Sometimes they don’t hear you the second time, either. And sometimes you need to project your voice, redirect, repeat yourself, and repeat yourself AGAIN.

Welcome to dementia care!

But I genuinely believe she can succeed. I think she’ll become a great nurse with time, practice, and the right support.

The part I’m not proud of.

At the end of the weekend, she asked me how she did.

And honestly, I didn’t feel great about my answer or how I had treated her throughout the shift.

I wasn’t particularly patient. I wasn’t as approachable as I would have liked to be. I was busy, overwhelmed, and trying to pick up slack while managing my own responsibilities.

I almost felt cold toward her.

And that bothers me.

My aide even pointed out that I wasn’t showing much patience. Our activities coordinator, who has experience as a former RN, also gave me a little reality check.

She knows. She’s been there.

And sometimes you need someone to call you out, even when it’s not what you want to hear.

I had to take a step back and recognize that I wasn’t giving this new nurse the best version of myself.

Not because I didn’t want her to learn, but because I was already running on fumes.

And that’s something I need to own.

The funny thing is, I knew better. Somewhere in the middle of all that noise, I actually said it out loud: “I’ve been the new nurse at a new place.” I know what that feels like. I remember trying to learn the routine, figure out the people, understand the expectations, and not look completely lost while doing it.

And yet, there I was, on the other side of the experience, not giving someone the patience I know I would’ve appreciated.

That realization stung a little.

I don’t think I was intentionally unkind. I think I was overwhelmed, distracted, and trying to keep my own head above water. But intent doesn’t erase impact. I can acknowledge that I could’ve done better and make a conscious effort to do better next time.

But here’s what I keep thinking about…

How are we supposed to train new nurses when there isn’t a clear orientation process?

Where are the packets? The worksheets? The competency checklists?

Is there a standard list of skills and expectations that every new nurse should work through?

Or are we just pairing someone with another nurse and hoping they figure it out along the way?

Because every nurse has a different routine, different habits, and different ways of doing things.

And while experience is valuable, new nurses deserve more than just following someone around and trying to absorb everything happening in real time.

They need structure.

They need repetition.

They need opportunities to practice.

They need to ask questions without feeling like they’re holding someone up.

And the nurses training them need support, too.

Because being a nurse and being a good teacher are two different skill sets.

Maybe this is a learning experience for me, too.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how I want to grow as a nurse. I want to keep learning, keep my clinical skills sharp, and become more confident in my practice.

But maybe there’s another area I need to develop.

Teaching.

Mentoring.

Being patient with someone who is standing where I once stood.

I don’t want this new nurse to walk away thinking she isn’t capable or that she doesn’t belong here.

I want her to feel supported. I want her to learn the routines, become comfortable with the residents, find her voice, and eventually develop her own confidence.

And I want to do a better job of helping her get there.

My plan is to speak with the nurse manager. I’d like to see if we can arrange another shadowing opportunity, preferably a planned shift where I can actually focus on teaching instead of trying to juggle everything at once.

I’d also love to see an orientation and competency checklist put together.

Something that gives new nurses direction and gives the nurses training them a roadmap.

Because I don’t want to just show someone how to survive a shift.

I want to help them learn how to be a nurse.

A little grace goes both ways. ❤️

I came home this weekend feeling guilty.

Guilty that I wasn’t more patient. Guilty that I didn’t teach her everything I wanted to. Guilty that I was so focused on getting through the weekend that I didn’t give her the attention she deserved.

But I’m also reminding myself that I wasn’t given much notice, I was working a busy assignment, and I was human.

I can acknowledge that I could have done better without beating myself up over it.

And I can hope that she knows my lack of patience wasn’t a reflection of her potential.

We were both learning something this weekend.

She was learning dementia care.

And I was learning that being a good nurse doesn’t automatically make you a good trainer.

The learning continues.

And next time, hopefully, I’ll have a little more patience, a little more preparation, and maybe a checklist in my hand.

Because if we’re going to bring new nurses into this field, let’s give them the tools to succeed.

And maybe give the nurses training them a little grace, too.

Scrubs and Side Eyes

Just trying to keep it together one shift at a time.